


Bring your heart, I'll bring my soul.

by LittleRedRuby



Category: Sierra Burgess Is a Loser (2018)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/F, Fix-it fic, pettiness fuels my creativity, we all know that movie should have been gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 09:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedRuby/pseuds/LittleRedRuby
Summary: Veronica is tired of playing this role.





	Bring your heart, I'll bring my soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Because we all know this should have been gay, have a fic where I fix everything. (Sierra doesn't do the ig thing, and actually faces consequences regarding Jamey)

She kisses him because it's easy. 

She is walking towards the field with the cheerleading squad, the girls talking about something she really isn't paying attention to, going through the motions of this role that has been thrust upon her, that her mother wants her to play so well, that she has been playing since dad walked out and mother let herself go.

Veronica is getting tired of it.

Spence was an idiot, someone who used her and played her, and when Jamey gets out of the bus, all dimples and soft smile she thinks that maybe this will be easier, that this is her reward for enduring so much. That maybe kissing him would make her forget how hurt she felt when Sierra did the same.

Maybe this will make her forget how she keeps hurting every time Sierra talks about him, how the mere thought of him makes Sierra's eyes sparkle, how she giggles when she is talking to him on the phone.

So she kisses him, a little awkward, a little strange, her stomach doesn't get that twisty feeling she gets every time Sierra is going off about some philosopher or is reading poetry out loud, she opens her eyes slightly and thinks that Jamey looks kinda dumb from this angle, but something catches her eyes at the school entrance.

A blur of white and blue with a hint of red, her eyes widen.

“Shit”

She pulls back, Jamey is surprised, she doesn't even hear his protests as she runs for the door, giving him a half-hearted wave and a see you later over her shoulder before running after Sierra.

“Sierra wait!”

She follows the sound of Sierra's rapid footsteps, the clatter of her flute hitting the floor reaches her ears from the girls locker room, and as she pushes the door open, it hits the wall with a loud bang. She sees Sierra, sitting on a bench, sobbing, and Veronica hates herself because how could she ever do this to her?

“Get out!”

“Sierra please, listen…”

“I asked you only one thing Veronica! Why did you do that?”

“You have been asking a lot from me Sierra, not only this”

“What does that even mean?”

“That I'm supposed to be dating him! for you! Am I supposed to curve him every time I see him? How is this going to keep working?!”

“I just...I need more time!” 

“For what Sierra? I don't want to keep doing this!”

“He won't like me if he knows it's me” Sierra sounds defeated, and Veronica is angry, so angry, because how can she not  _ see _ ?

“Then he doesn't deserve you!”

Sierra stops, her face red, her eyes bloodshot and Veronica finally feels how hard her own heart is beating.

Veronica sniffs, touching her face and finding her cheeks wet with tears, she hears the distant sound of cheers as the game starts.

“I don't like him Sierra, I don't _like_ _him_ ”

It feels like something she has to say, like if she doesn't say it the world will come crashing down, Sierra needs to know it was never about Jamey, not really. 

She turns, grabs her discarded pompoms and with a flourish, walks away.

 

*

 

Her school ends up losing the game spectacularly, the crowd boos the other team while they leave. Veronica has been trying to sneak glances at Sierra when she can, and Sierra never meets her eyes, focusing on the floor or in playing the flute.

She is getting her duffle bag when she feels a pair of arms sneak around her waist and suddenly she is twirling in the air, she grabs Jamey's forearms and squeals in surprise, he is laughing in her ear, and Veronica just feels numb.

“I think I deserve at least a kiss on the cheek for that awesome display on the field” he smiles again, and Veronica understands why Sierra likes him so much. But Veronica can't keep doing this. 

“We need to talk”

 

*

 

She sees his face go from confusion to bewilderment, to anger and finally to defeat, she feels terrible, but if Sierra isn't brave enough to do this then Veronica has to. 

They are sitting on the bleachers, the field empty and silent, the bright lights still on, and the scoreboard still displaying the results. He changed, wearing simple sweatpants and a hoodie, his elbows on his knees while he stares down as his shoes.

She didn't see Sierra leave, she texted her to no response, and she knows she should be paying attention to him, but her mind still wanders, wondering where she is, if she is ok, if she got home safe.

“So all of this has been a lie?”

“Mostly? Yeah, but not all of it, she likes you very much, she just can't see how beautiful she is”

Her stomach sinks, and Jamey finally looks up, eyes wide, and Veronica quickly looks away.

“Huh, I see” 

“No wait, I'm just…”

“Hey, it's ok, she is amazing, it's impossible to not see it, or well...hear it”

Veronica feels her face set aflame, this is the most embarrassing moment of her life.

A moment passes with both of them in complete silence, finally, Jamey sighs and gets up, stretching and then slumping his shoulders.

“I'm going to need time to process this” he finally says, “thanks, for...being honest with me”

She nods, and just watches him walk away. She brings her knees up and rests her arms over them, burying her face in the space.

She realizes the hoodie she is wearing is Sierra's, and finally cries. 

 

*

 

When she finally gets home she goes quickly to her room and turns the lock, checking that her sisters aren't hiding in there, she takes a deep breath and calls Sierra.

It's rings and rings until finally, when she is about to hang up, the line connects and Sierra's voice makes her heart beat faster.

“What?” 

“I told Jamey”

There is silence, for a moment Veronica thinks Sierra must have hung up, but after a few seconds there is a hitch in Sierra's breath, and Veronica's heart breaks all over again.

“He is going to need some time to process it” she finally says.

“Was he...was he angry?” Sierra sounds small, like she is reducing herself from existence, and her beautiful voice sounds broken.

“I don't know, he didn't seem like it, he was...sad...mostly”

“Ok, I'll call him in a few days” 

“Sierra I…” and Veronica hesitates, because what is she going to say really? That she always hears her pulse in her ears every time Sierra is around? That her eyes look especially beautiful behind her glasses? That the happiest days for her  have been the ones where Sierra comes over to explain whatever those old dudes keep talking about in terms she can understand?

That she is kind, and brave, and beautiful, and that Veronica can see herself going to the ends of the Earth with her.

“Goodnight”

“Goodnight Ronnie”

_ Ronnie,  _ well, that's a good start.

 

*

 

A week and a half later her phone dings, and when she sees Sierra’s name she almost drops the nail polish all over her duvet. The nail polish is still wet on her nails and she starts jumping around waving her hands to make it dry faster. She can't pick up her phone like this. 

Fuck.

When the polish is dry enough she reaches for the phone, unlocks it and sees the message, there aren't any words, just an audio file. She searches for her earphones.

The song starts playing, and Sierra's voice fills her ears like a soft lullaby. Half way through it she is tearing up, and by the end, with the song coming to a close, she is full on sobbing, she looks at herself in the mirror, bloodshot eyes and snot running down her nose and smiles.

She cleans herself up, grabs her car keys, and is out of the door 10 minutes later. 

 

*

 

The drive to Sierra's house feels like it takes forever but when she finally gets there it feels like only seconds passed. Her hands are sweaty, and Sierra's house has never looked more imposing.

She paces the front lawn, and by the rustle of the curtains she knows she has been seen already, taking a deep breath she walks up, and rings the doorbell.

Sierra opens the door a few moments later, and to Veronica it feels like coming home.

“Hey”

“Hey”

There is silence, and Veronica just looks at her, memorizing once again Sierra's freckles, the curls of her hair and the subtle signs that she is biting her cheek.

“Wanna go up?”

“Yeah”

 

*

 

For all the thinking Veronica did for the past few days, she is at a loss of words. Sierra is sitting at the end of her bed while Veronica sits in the desk chair, and there has been nothing but silence since they came up here.

“I talked to Jamey” Sierra finally says.

Oh. Shit.

“What did he say?” She is dreading the answer, but she has to know before she says anything else.

“That what I did was fucked up, and it was, I apologized once again, and he accepted it but that it was better to put some distance between each other.”

“Oh...Sierra I'm so so..”

“No, it's ok, I did fuck up, big time, he was right”

Silence once again, and the small glimmer of hope Veronica has in her chest is growing a little bit more.

“He told me that you guys talked”

_ Oh. Shit. _

“What did he say?”

“That you had something to say to me”

_ Oh fuck him _ .

“Look..it's not…” she pauses, takes a deep breath and tries again “your song was amazing”

Sierra smiles, relieved. “I'm glad you liked it, Mrs. Thompson told me I had to share it with who I wrote it for”

“Oh... _ oh _ ...you wrote...you wrote it for  _ me _ ?”

Sierra looks down and starts playing with her fingers, suddenly shy.

“I mean...yeah”

Wow, ok. 

Veroncia suddenly stands up, the chair hitting the desk soflty and Sierra looks ips, startled.

“Look it's just...I see you Sierra, I would pick you, sunflower or dandelion or rose or whatever, because you are you, you don't have to be anything else but yourself, and I would pick you, every time”

It sounds so stupid when she says it out loud, Veronica wishes she was as good at Sierra in putting her feelings into words, if she could write like her, Veronica wishes she could write songs and poems and stories so Sierra could understand.

But in the end she just has her honesty, she has the moments she spent with Sierra, and the way her blood flows and her heart beats when she is around her.

Her cheeks are aflame, and Sierra is biting her lower lip, suppressing a smile.

Veronica scoffs out a laugh, and Sierra laughs with her.

“So, can I kiss you?”

It's surprising to hear Sierra say those words. And she is speechless, so Veronica just nods. And when their lips meet, Veronica just finally, for the first time in a while, feels at peace. 

*

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, there you have it, while writing this i felt like that pingu meme where he is angrily gluing a heart to a little piece of paper, also if you saw any errors I'm sorry, I wrote this on my phone. 
> 
> Leave a comment! Tell me if you liked it! Also, you can donate a little tip @ PayPal.me/Ambar375 
> 
> You can also follow me on Tumblr @ biwitchofthewest.tumblr.com


End file.
